Why don't they come with a manual?

I question each decision we make for Libby, weighing the options, relying on my training and my mommy instincts. For several weeks, it felt like we had a good system going. We had a happy, developing, sweet baby. But then, as it always happens, things changed. And it sent me spiraling trying to figure out how to restore peace, harmony and parenting confidence in our house.

Recently, Libby has had new sleep issues. My once predictable sleeping child was waking up in the middle of the night (multiple times) and refusing to nap. Then there was the 6 month well child check. Her weight percentile slipped from the 80th to the 60th. Nothing to worry about or a small red flag? Its been nagging at me for two weeks now and that coupled with the sleep changes have me questioning everything.

I have finally blamed these changes on her eating habits. Namely, my error in not feeding her enough. So I did what I always do - research.

Today, I was going through some of the literature I carefully tucked away over my years of residency, looking for a how-to guide for how much she should be eating and how often. At the end of the stack, I was more confused and less confident than I was at the outset. According to one source, she is grossly underfed and should be getting at least 2 servings of fruits, 2 servings of vegetables, 1 serving of meat and 2 servings of cereal along with 6 milk feedings daily. Umm.... we don't come any where close to that!!

I don't think I would worry as much about it if her weight were remaining steady on her growth curve but as I said, she's changing curves. Despite a scrawny 6lb 14oz start in life, Libby quickly gained weight and remained at the 80-90th percentile for weight and height at her 2 week, 2 month and 4 month check ups. But, at her 6 month check up, she was 60th percentile. Then our baby sitter quietly asked one day, shouldn't we be feeding her more milk in her bottles? Then the question from a friend, you are only giving cereal once a day and a puree once a day? Is that enough? These little, innocuous questions stick in my mind for days. Have I made a mistake?

If Libby were my patient, and I could be objective about the weights and eating habits, I would probably reassure her mommy that she was doing a great job and 60th percentile is still a wonderful weight and Libby may be settling into her new growth pattern. We see that all the time.

Its tough to take your own advice sometimes...

Growth curve changes, innocent questions from friends and changing sleep habits in the last few weeks have sent me running to my parenting books and pediatric literature - searching for how to get my baby back to sleeping through the night and restore my mommy confidence. We'll try a change for a few days and see if it makes a difference and then try again.

Now the flip side.... its the teeth. Its a growth spurt. Its just a baby being a baby. They can't be predictable all the time right? Libby is happy and silly. Her development in all areas is ahead of schedule. I'm sure that the world does not hinge on whether or not I give her an extra 1oz serving of pureed sweet potatoes. For today, we'll just blame the teeth instead of mommy.